I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Randomize
