Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
