I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize