You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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