Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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