I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize