guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
