there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
