Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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