you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
