they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
how drunk are you?
Several
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
