He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Who did Billy Mays play for?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Randomize
