Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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