Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
