no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Randomize
