please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
someone owes me an orgasm
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
