Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Randomize
