how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
