Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
