They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
