college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
