i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
