Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize