If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
