my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Randomize
