she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Randomize