So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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