ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
