Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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