The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Is it because I queefed?
birth control should be required to get into college
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
