After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize