just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Randomize
