Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
