You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
