I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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