8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
