dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
