she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
