Well douche your snatch and let's go!
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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