Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize