I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
