am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Randomize
