Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
