From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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