I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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