Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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