I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I'm passing your future prison.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
