chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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