do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize
