I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
