a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Randomize
