i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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