My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
