Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Randomize
