why didn't you poke me back
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
