your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
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