He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
