how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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