you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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