I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
