We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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