Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
