At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
