Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
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