Who did Billy Mays play for?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Randomize