Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
