If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
