the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Randomize
