i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
