Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
