I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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