I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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