whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
