I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Randomize
