real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
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