it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
